Here's what i will say...looking back at many of my posts, Its encouraging to read and see where God has brought me in the past year (specifically april 15th)! I've honestly gone through alot of Hell since January with understanding who Christ is in my life and leaning on His sovereign grace....honestly for a while i truly doubted if He even existed! I consistently prayed for God to pour grace on my life and that He would break my hardened heart! I wanted to see the supernatural! I wanted to experience His kingdom on Earth (in non-christian lingo: I wanted to see something freaky that let me know he was real)...I wanted to taste and see and I didn't for a long time..... a real long time
Theres much to learn in the Silence of God.... Patience, Endurance, The reality of Sorrow, and That I am nothing, I have nothing to offer, my best that i can bring to God is Filthy Rags (Is. 64:6)... But through that silence, I have come to lean on His promises! I came to understand one night when standing on the beach, staring at the stars, that God owes us nothing! that everything points back to Him already! We live in a world, From the stars in the Heavens, to the complexity of our living breathing bodies, that screams "God, God, God. Holy, Holy, Holy" The reality of God became so clear that night and my heart was broken! You'll come to realize that if you ask, God will always answer. Not always the way you think He will or in the timing you expect, but He is always faithful to answer!... That night, I understood God's love for me in a new light! That in the midst of my failure I am made righteous! He claims me as His own and there is no greater Joy in all of life than just knowing my Father! it's kindof something that just sorta clicked!!! Its pretty overwhelming when you realize that the God who made the Heavens wants to hang and know you!!! I love the way Paul expresses this. He says it much better than i do,
"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." Philippians 3:8-11 ESV
I am thankful for the Silence of God and knowing that nothing in this world brings satisfaction, That I am nothing on my own strength... But Knowing Christ Jesus, That is worth everything! He is my joy in the midst of my sufferings, He is Strength in my weekness! He is Sovereign and His love and mercy are endless!
Theres nothing sweeter than the name of Jesus:) Its the Good news!!!!
